23 Days at a Time: jack

Showing posts with label jack. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wordful Wednesday

Found this one during an Internet search for more survey. Oh my it is long (stop giggling)!

Name: Gwen
Sex: Female
Birth date: June 6
Location: Chicago 'Burbs
Height: 5'2"
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Brown
What does your name mean: It is of Welsh origin, and the meaning of Gwendolyn is " fair bow; blessed ring".
High school graduation year: 1991
Favorite relatives: The HappySide
Summer memory: Riding bikes and going to Convenient with Erich and Angie
Favorite TV shows: Ugh, I watch way too much TV, crime dramas are my favs
What’s on your mousepad: @ work, Tigger, none at home
In the car- ac or windows: Def AC, I hate being too hot
Do you believe in yourself: Not nearly as much as I should
Favorite game: Monopoly (board game), Rummy (card game), FrontierVille (FB game), 7-Up (dice game)
Favorite drink: Coke, I shall miss it after my surgery
Favorite food: Quonset pizza
Favorite colors: Blue
Favorite cigarettes: Yuk! None!
Favorite sounds: Jack's laugh
Favorite smell: Jack after a bath
Worst feeling in the World: Missing Kyle
Best feeling in the World: Holding Jack
Favorite thing to do on a weekend: Play with Jack, escape into net space with FB
Favorite soundtrack: Cutting Edge "Toe Pick!"
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: A ------ (omitted to avoid confrontation) mommy of 3
First thought in the morning: Ugh, do I have to go to work?
Do you get motion sickness: Nope
Rollercoasters- deadly or exciting: Exciting
How many rings before you answer the phone: I am notorious for not answering my phone.
Future son names: Hoping for two daughters next. No other boy's names picked out
Future daughter names: Can't share here - okay maybe since you asked so nice Kacey Jean Kay and Kelsey Dorthea Faye, also like Kylee in memory of Kyle, and Caledonia Rose Marie - Callie for short and probably spelled with a K.
Are you a good friend: Nope, really should be a better one
Chocolate or Vanilla cake: Vanilla
What do you drive: Chevy Silverado
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Yep, my Pooh bear, he goes with me every time I travel, even if it's just across the boarder into WI
Thunderstorms cool or scary: Awesome!
If you could meet one person in the World, who would it be: Living or dead? Dead - Stevie Ray Vaughn. Living - Tony Stewart
What is your zodiac sign: Gemini
What do you wear to bed: Comfy pants and T
Do you eat stems of broccoli: Don't eat any part of broccoli
Guys- If a girl ever asked you for the shirt on your back, would you
give it to her?
Girls- Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? Probably not
If you could have any occupation when you get older, what would it be: Psychologist
If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be: Like my hair color now
If you could have a tattoo, what and where would it be: I have 3 and plans for 2 more
Favorite brand of gum: Orbit? Don't really chew gum.
What is your favorite quote: "There's always cats in pants."
Have you ever been in love: Yep
What’s on your walls in your room: Pictures of Jack
Is the glass half-empty or half-full: I'm ashamed to say it's usually half-empty
Pick a song that describes yourself or that you can relate to: Nobody's Girl
Which do you prefer- Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese Doritos: Cool Ranch
Favorite flavor Snapple: Pink Lemonade
Which one, Coke or Pepsi: Coke
Which kind of milk is your favorite: 1%, strawberry please
If you were to kill someone, which method would you use? I would never. I'm getting enough bad karma and I don't know why.
Are you a righty, lefty, or ambidextrous: Righty
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: Kind of
When you meet a person of the opposite sex, you notice their: Face
If you could be one gardening tool, which one would it be: Watering can
What kind of shoe would you be if you had an option: Sneaker
What’s under your bed: Dust monsters
What’s the best number in the World: 13
What is your dream car: Paid for
Who is your biggest crush right now: Tony Stewart
Nickname: Don't really have one, but I was G Lo before George Lopez was.
School: Adler
Bacon Bits Or croutons: Croutons, why is this question on every survey?
Favorite salad dressing: 1000 Island
Do you drink: Not really
What type of Shampoo/Conditioner: Fructis, Suave
Have you ever been skinny dipping: Yep
Do you make fun of people: Yes, but not for anything out of their control
Have you ever been convicted of a crime: Nope
Best friends online/offline: Carol, KJ
One pillow or two: 2
Pets: Milo & Mishka
Favorite Movies: Anything but a chick flick
Favorite type of music: All
Hobbies: Blogging, crafts, reading
Word or Phrase you overuse: Um
Toothpaste: Colgate cinnamon (hard to find)
Piercing or tattoos: 4 and 3
Do you get along with your parents: Yes
Favorite beer: Corona
Favorite song at the moment: California Gurls
Favorite subject in school: Math
Least favorite subject in school: History
Most humiliating moment: Teen Years
Craziest or Silliest Person You Know: Jack
Favorite Holiday: Halloween
Now are you glad you know more about me? :-)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Family Day

Sundays are family days. On Sundays I will be posting a story from my childhood or about something current with Jack. I will try to include a recipe from something I would consider a "Sunday" dinner.

Today my dad came over for dinner. It's been a while since we've seen him and he's seen Jack. Over the summer we went to a baseball game a month. I bought him tickets to a game each month starting with Father's Day. They were his present from Jack. It was the first year for the Lake County Fielders, and unfortunately it was not a good first year, but that's something you expect with a team that's just beginning. Regardless of the outcome of the games or the season, we had an awesome time. I did this so that I could make sure that he got out of the house and spent time with Jack. My dad isn't a terribly social person. If left alone I am convinced he would get up, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to bed, get up and start the cycle over again.

Anyway, something got me thinking about the day Jack got out of the hospital. I cannot even remember what I was thinking, but I called my dad and asked him if he wanted to meet us for dinner. Why I would take this newly released from the NICU infant to a restaurant is beyond me now, but we did. That was a Friday.

The next day, Saturday, my aunt Kathy came over to visit us on her way to a wedding near where we live. My aunt, who is not particularly baby inclined, asked to hold Jack. Still, each time she see Jack she is excited to see him and play with him. My aunt, who never had kids, never held kids, never watched kids is absolutely in love with my son.

On Sunday, my dad came over and spent some time with Jack. I will never forget the look on his face when he finally got to hold his grandson for the first time. After a difficult pregnancy, an early birth, the passing of Kyle and 72 days in the NICU, my father finally held his grandchild. It wasn't his first (I had a miscarriage before the boys were conceived) and hopefully it won't be his last (no siblings here, but I hope to give Jack another brother or sister, or two).

Jack is named after my parents - James Patrick, get it Ja(mes Patri)ck. Jack is a special little boy. I still get people who randomly stop me and tell me what a beautiful child he is. They remark about his eyes and how happy he is. If only they knew the story that comes before that day.

So today I made a pork roast from a kit I found while grocery shopping. It was from Tyson and it had the pork roast, veggies and seasoning all in one package (vegetable sealed separately from the veggies). I bought it on a whim. It was the only on and it was only $10 for a pretty sizable piece of meat. I knew once I saw it I would call my dad and invite him over for dinner. Good luck finding these in your supermarket. I searched the Internet to see if Tyson had other kits like maybe a beef roast and I couldn't find them. They're not on the Tyson web site. If you do see a kit in your fresh meat section (that's where I found mine) buy it! Pop it in your crock pot and enjoy an awesome fall Sunday dinner.

If you can't find it, try making your own:

4 to 5 lbs. loin end roast
1 clove garlic, sliced
2 med. onions, sliced
1 bay leaf
1 whole clove
1 c. hot water
2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

Rub roast with salt and pepper. make tiny slits in meat and insert slivers of garlic. In crock pot put 1 sliced onion on bottom. Add roast then remaining onion and other ingredients. Cover and cook 1 hour on high. Turn to low and cook 9 to 10 hours or until done. GRAVY: Remove roast, onions, clove and bay leaf. In separate cup or bowl, blend 2 tablespoons cold water with 2 tablespoons cornstarch to form smooth paste. Set crockpot on high and pour in paste. Stir well and let come to a boil (10 to 15 minutes) until thickened

**Personally I would add red potatoes, carrots, and a couple cans of Veg-All.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Twenty

Sunday, October 17, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Seventeen

Saturday, October 16, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Fifteen and Sixteen

Master List
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

I didn't post my 15th post yesterday because I didn't feel right given what day it was. The 15th was about Kyle and all the other Angel Babies being remembered.

Day 15's post is a little difficult. I have thoughts on what the house would physically look like, but those aren't the important things. Give that yesterday was all about Angle Babies, it's what my house would be filled with that weighs most heavily on my mind. My dream house would have Jack and Kyle and their sisters ***** and ****** (I don't feel right typing the names since they may one day be here and I am not quite ready to speak their names). I have always wanted a house with 2 boys and 2 girls. A nice big front yard with the children and their friends playing in it. A huge back yard with room for bonfires and tents for camping. A swing set with a slide and a sandbox that meets an ocean - or at least appears that way to the mind of a little child. My house would be the one all the kids would play at. It would be a happy house with no dark clouds over it.

Day 16's post is an easy one for me - Kenny Chesney "Who you'd be today." I cannot hear this song and not think about Kyle and what my life would be like if he were here with Jack and I. How would I be different? How would Jack be different? Would Kyle's hair have stayed brown like mine, or been light like Jack's? Would he have had brown eyes? Would he be the quite, laid back little boy he appeared to be in the NICU? Would he and Jack be chasing each other through the house yelling in their own twin language? Would I be a different mommy if I didn't feel like half of me was missing and that even when I hold Jack my arms still feel not quite as full as they should? I can only imagine this list of questions will grow as time goes by. As Jack grows and learns more and more things I will wonder what Kyle would be doing. I fear Jack will never have another sibling and that he will never get the chance to be a big brother. Even if there is another baby in the future for me, Jack will never know what it is like to go through life with a twin.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Nine

Thursday, October 7, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Seven

The only picture I have of my boys together

Monday, October 4, 2010

30 Posts in 30 Days - Day Four

Master List
Day 1 - your favorite song
Day 2 - your favorite movie
Day 3 - your favorite television program
Day 4 - your favorite book
Day 5 - your favorite quote
Day 6 - 20 of your favorite things
Day 7 - a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 - a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 - a photo you took
Day 10 - a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 - a photo of you recently
Day 12 - something you are OCD about
Day 13 - a fictional book
Day 14 - a non-fictional book
Day 15 - your dream house
Day 16 - a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 - an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 - my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 - a talent of yours
Day 20 - a hobby of yours
Day 21 - a recipe
Day 22 - a website
Day 23 - a youtube video
Day 24 - where you live
Day 25 - your day, in great detail
Day 26 - your week, in great detail
Day 27 - your worst habit
Day 28 - what's in your handbag/purse
Day 29 - hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 - a dream for the future

Without a doubt my favorite book is "I Love You My Bunnies." I bought this book shortly before Easter 2009. It was a book I bought on a whim because I was pregnant with my boys and decided that I would start buying books from the holiday display that Target puts up every time there is a holiday coming up. I can honestly say I don't remember packing the book when I packed for the hospital, but some how it was with me when the boys made their unexpected appearance. It was the book I chose to read, if not every not, every other night - curious to see if when they got older they would remember the book - curious if it would bring a sense of calm in the chaos I knew two boys would create. It was the book I read to Kyle as I held him as he slowly left. It was the book the nurse photogrtaphed with my precious baby boy after I had to leave him. It was the book I hurriedly ordered so that I could make sure he had one with him when he was laid to rest. It was the book I read to him in that small white "box" (I cannot type the word) after everyone had left after his visitation. And it is the book I read to Jack, though not as often as I should, and know that Kyle is there next to us listening as I read.

"We love you Momma," the bunnies cried. "And I love you my Bunnies," their Momma replied."

And I love you my bunnies.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Letting Kyle Down

I've been doing a lot of reading of other blogs lately. I know, I should be adding them to mine, but I feel like I am not on the same level as those fine, strong ladies. They are so organized, have unique blogs and special signatures and here I am with just a standard blog and no signature. Could I learn? Probably, but when do I find the time?

I start grad school Monday, August 30 and, as I think I mentioned before, I think I may be slightly crazy. I flip-flop from panicking on how I'm going to find the time to how I'm going to come up with the money. I half-seriously want to sell therapy services on eBay - For the low, low price of $2,500 (the cost of one class) you too can have free therapy for one year - after I receive my degree, of course.

Anyway, back to what I was saying about all the other Angel Mommies - I feel such a strong connection to their stories no matter how different they are from ours (and by ours, I mean me, Jack and Kyle). I truly feel like I am not doing enough to honor my son. I had such plans and I can't seem to make any of them come true.

I started Kyle's Angels - Love from Above because I wanted other parents with babies in the NICU to have something special and most importantly not lose sight of the fact that they have a baby to love and treasure. No matter how tiny or sick, no matter how long of life the doctor's say that baby will have, no matter the pain and fear, that is their child to love and honor. If, Heaven forbid, that precious miracle has to return to Heaven they need to remember and feel the warm glow of love when thinking about their baby. If their precious child is luck enough to come home, there will come a time when they will look back at what a beautiful blessing they received and remember with awe all that happened. I know - I speak from experience on both accounts.

Here's the problem though, I cannot seem to generate the support I would like to for Kyle's Angels. I know times are tough for everyone right now, so I took a slightly different approach this summer. I decided rather than solicit donations of money or gently used items, I would ask for things that don't cost much, or anything at all. My two ideas were to create a cookbook - The Art of French Toast Cooking I would call it. The idea was that people would send me recipes that are either kid-friendly, or easy to make with your child and pictures of them and their child(ren) cooking the recipe.

The other idea was - as I liked to call it - Le Petite Artiste. This was going to be an art sale, or possible silent auction of works of art by children. This could be anything from a coloring book page, to Play-Doh sculpture, to finger paint on canvas, to handmade bracelets. If you can imagine it, we would love to have it.

These sound simple and fun enough, right? This was May. It's now August and I haven't received one response. When I asked for donations last year I received rather generous support. Is it that it's easier for people to give money? I need help with Kyle's Angels. I have such important ideas, but no idea how to realize them. I feel like I am letting Kyle down.

23 Days at a Time