No longer a lurker, now a stalker :-)

Okay, so I went through some of the links I had bookmarked as I was reading one blog after another. I added some to my "Following" list. I tried to cut myself a small break about my blog. Everyone had a beginning, right? There was a time when everyone else's blog only had a few posts and they were using the templates here, right? Come on, please tell me I'm not that technologically challenged as to be the only one.

It occurred to me that I have not addressed the question about why I started this blog now. Yes, I know there is much more to be addressed such as Jack and Kyle's story and my fight against infertility and the baby lost before the boys were conceived, but for right now let me address the question about why I am starting this blog 15 months after Kyle's passing.

If it's one thing I've learned it's that everyone grieves differently. I'm not so sure this is really about grieving. Don't get me wrong, I do grieve - I miss my son terribly. I can't help but think about how Jack is not supposed to be alone; he's supposed to have a little brother to play with. I guess what this blog is really about is my search for someone who understands. Again, I know that no one can truly understand what we (me, Jack and Kyle) have been through, just as I can never truly understand what someone else has been through, no matter the similarities in our stories.

So I guess what I am hoping to find in this blogging experience is friendship; other mommies to talk to who have been to hell and back and wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything because it was time with their baby(ies).