Letting Kyle Down

I've been doing a lot of reading of other blogs lately. I know, I should be adding them to mine, but I feel like I am not on the same level as those fine, strong ladies. They are so organized, have unique blogs and special signatures and here I am with just a standard blog and no signature. Could I learn? Probably, but when do I find the time?

I start grad school Monday, August 30 and, as I think I mentioned before, I think I may be slightly crazy. I flip-flop from panicking on how I'm going to find the time to how I'm going to come up with the money. I half-seriously want to sell therapy services on eBay - For the low, low price of $2,500 (the cost of one class) you too can have free therapy for one year - after I receive my degree, of course.

Anyway, back to what I was saying about all the other Angel Mommies - I feel such a strong connection to their stories no matter how different they are from ours (and by ours, I mean me, Jack and Kyle). I truly feel like I am not doing enough to honor my son. I had such plans and I can't seem to make any of them come true.

I started Kyle's Angels - Love from Above because I wanted other parents with babies in the NICU to have something special and most importantly not lose sight of the fact that they have a baby to love and treasure. No matter how tiny or sick, no matter how long of life the doctor's say that baby will have, no matter the pain and fear, that is their child to love and honor. If, Heaven forbid, that precious miracle has to return to Heaven they need to remember and feel the warm glow of love when thinking about their baby. If their precious child is luck enough to come home, there will come a time when they will look back at what a beautiful blessing they received and remember with awe all that happened. I know - I speak from experience on both accounts.

Here's the problem though, I cannot seem to generate the support I would like to for Kyle's Angels. I know times are tough for everyone right now, so I took a slightly different approach this summer. I decided rather than solicit donations of money or gently used items, I would ask for things that don't cost much, or anything at all. My two ideas were to create a cookbook - The Art of French Toast Cooking I would call it. The idea was that people would send me recipes that are either kid-friendly, or easy to make with your child and pictures of them and their child(ren) cooking the recipe.

The other idea was - as I liked to call it - Le Petite Artiste. This was going to be an art sale, or possible silent auction of works of art by children. This could be anything from a coloring book page, to Play-Doh sculpture, to finger paint on canvas, to handmade bracelets. If you can imagine it, we would love to have it.

These sound simple and fun enough, right? This was May. It's now August and I haven't received one response. When I asked for donations last year I received rather generous support. Is it that it's easier for people to give money? I need help with Kyle's Angels. I have such important ideas, but no idea how to realize them. I feel like I am letting Kyle down.