Thoughtful Thursday

How are you being too hard on yourself?

Hmm, thought provoking it is.  I am too hard on myself about my weight, about where I am as far as a job goes, about what I could have done differently in my pregnancy and while the boys were in the NICU, and about the fact that I don't have enough money to do the things I want to with Jack.

My weight I am working on.  I've made the huge decision to have gastric banding.  It's a big step and one that scares me, but I can't be my age and in this poor of health.  I will never be an active mommy for Jack and I will never have any other children.  I want to live to see Jack grow up and have a family of his own.

As far as my job goes, I like where I am, it's just not what I see myself doing forever.  I really want to be in a field where I can help people.  I am working on getting my Masters in Psychology.  Cross your fingers for me.

Oh so many regrets when it comes to my pregnancy.  I am not sure I can even sum them up here.  The biggest one is I feel I let Kyle down.  I'm the mommy, shouldn't I have know he was sick before it was too late?

And as far as money goes you can't be cancer free until you cut off the tumor.  In due time I will remove that problem.  In the mean time I will work to get my degree and start making a better life for myself and my son.

Yoga Time
Cat-Cow Pose
Duration: 1-3 minutes
Inhale in cow pose / exhale in cat pose

Cow - Top picture

Cat - Bottom picture